BookSeven
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If the Primarchs were in Homestuck
17 min read
I didn't have ideas for the art, so I just got the bullets, their pesterchum handles, planets, and their typing styles down.
Jaghatai Khan
Lion El'Jonson
Sanguinius
Leman Russ
Rogal Dorn
Alpharius Omegon
Horus Lupercal
Perturabo
Lorgar
Konrad Curze
Magnus the Red
Typing style: Capitalizes the first and last letter of every word.
Example: pG: ChaoS Doesn'T EnD, DorN. GeT YouR HeaD OuT OF ThE GutteR.
Mortarion
Typing style: Replaces all his o's with 💩s.
Example: lB: Hey, d💩n't blame me f💩r turning t💩 Cha💩s. I d💩n't even like magic.
Angron
Fulgrim
Jaghatai Khan
- reckless as fuck
- considered siding with horus for a few minutes
- the white scars always going fast was not his idea
Pesterchum handle: rogaineCultist
Planet: Land of Mist and Ceramic
Planet surface: A dense mist covers the landscape of this planet, and the mist is so thick you can't see for more than a meter in front of you. In fact, this mist covers every square inch of the planet's surface, making it look somewhat like pre-strife Venus. The surface of the planet itself is unusually smooth, with peaks between 10 to 200 meters high and one to three kilometers apart. The only structures that stick up out of the planet's surface are dead, withering trees that tend to break their own branches. Jaghatai's home on this planet is simply a bunker that is marked by a small manhole.
Planet theme:
Planet: Land of Mist and Ceramic
Planet surface: A dense mist covers the landscape of this planet, and the mist is so thick you can't see for more than a meter in front of you. In fact, this mist covers every square inch of the planet's surface, making it look somewhat like pre-strife Venus. The surface of the planet itself is unusually smooth, with peaks between 10 to 200 meters high and one to three kilometers apart. The only structures that stick up out of the planet's surface are dead, withering trees that tend to break their own branches. Jaghatai's home on this planet is simply a bunker that is marked by a small manhole.
Planet theme:
Typing style: Replaces 'can' and all 1 syllable words that rhyme with can with khan
Example: rC: Trust me on this one. I khan't help you with The Tumor.
Example: rC: Trust me on this one. I khan't help you with The Tumor.
Lion El'Jonson
- self-absorbed prick
- please do not wake him up
- an absolute mess of a primarch
Pesterchum handle: contactPride
Planet: Land of Savannas and Idleness
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Planet: Land of Savannas and Idleness
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Similar to most of the post titles from r/PeopleFuckingDying
Example: cP: ThIS soundS HIghLY FucKiNG illegaL roGAL
Example: cP: ThIS soundS HIghLY FucKiNG illegaL roGAL
Sanguinius
- he shouldn't be alive
- figuratively, a human kangaroo
- horus punched him in the face so hard his gene-sons felt it
Pesterchum handle: palladiumFeather
Planet: Land of Birds and Precious Metals
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Planet: Land of Birds and Precious Metals
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Perfect grammar and perfect capitalization, but doesn't use punctuation. Tends to butcher his words when sad or angry.
Example: pF: But Horus... i hateeee youu so mjch horus
Example: pF: But Horus... i hateeee youu so mjch horus
Leman Russ
- grew up with a heart of ice
- WOLVES ARE STRONK
- probably has a fursuit
Pesterchum handle: canisFrigid
Planet: Land of Ice and Fur
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: No capitalization or punctuation. Puts wolf and related words in all caps.
Example: cF: im not going to explain anything milksop the WOLVES will tell you instead
Planet: Land of Ice and Fur
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: No capitalization or punctuation. Puts wolf and related words in all caps.
Example: cF: im not going to explain anything milksop the WOLVES will tell you instead
Rogal Dorn
- lost his hand on a ship
- too honest for his own good
- dresses up as a centurion for halloween
Pesterchum handle: princeAdorable
Planet: Land of Code and Reason
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Types o's twelve times.
Example: pA: Doooooooooooo'nt say the name of that space marine chapter alooooooooooooud.
Planet: Land of Code and Reason
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Types o's twelve times.
Example: pA: Doooooooooooo'nt say the name of that space marine chapter alooooooooooooud.
Ferrus Manus
Roboute Guilliman
Corvus Corax
Vulkan
- the flesh is weak
- best prostate examiner in the galaxy
- being weak is a way to get kicked in the face so hard your gene-sons will feel it
Pesterchum handle: fleshMechanic
Planet: Land of Factories and Cyborgs
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Replaces all his o's with ⚙️s.
Example: fM: S⚙️, where are we g⚙️ing? Is this a jailbreak?
Planet: Land of Factories and Cyborgs
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Replaces all his o's with ⚙️s.
Example: fM: S⚙️, where are we g⚙️ing? Is this a jailbreak?
Roboute Guilliman
- wrote that stupid book no one liked
- still has not had his life supports cut yet
- ashamed of what the imperium has become
Pesterchum handle: crusaderStorm
Planet: Land of Lapis Lazuli and Circuitry
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Underlines all of his words except for when using emphasis.
Example: cS: Greetings, traitor. It's been a long time. How have you been?
Planet: Land of Lapis Lazuli and Circuitry
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Underlines all of his words except for when using emphasis.
Example: cS: Greetings, traitor. It's been a long time. How have you been?
Corvus Corax
- really angsty
- i believe i can fly
- the last fan of my chemical romance
Pesterchum handle: toxiferousGrace
Planet: Land of Crows and Shade
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Planet: Land of Crows and Shade
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Puts "⊹⋛⋋"s around his statements, like wings.
Example: tG: ⊹⋛⋋WHY DO PEOPLE LIVE HEEEEERE.⋌⋚⊹
Example: tG: ⊹⋛⋋WHY DO PEOPLE LIVE HEEEEERE.⋌⋚⊹
Vulkan
- a really nice guy
- best blacksmith in the galaxy
- is waiting for all of his artifacts to be found
Pesterchum handle: lizardFriend
Planet: Land of Scales and Forges
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Adds the word 'friend' to the end of someone's name when referring to someone he trusts.
Example: lF: It is rare to see such fine alloys used in blades for guardsmen, Corax-friend!
Planet: Land of Scales and Forges
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Adds the word 'friend' to the end of someone's name when referring to someone he trusts.
Example: lF: It is rare to see such fine alloys used in blades for guardsmen, Corax-friend!
Alpharius Omegon
- has identity issues
- two-in-one package
- a spy for the imperium, but the imperium doesn't realize this yet
Pesterchum handle: solarSector
Planet: Land of Duality and Mushrooms
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Refers to himself as 'we' and 'us'. Replaces i's with !'s and replaces o's with '()'s.
Example: sS: We suspect that Kald()r Dra!g() was h!gh on narc()t!cs when we f!rst met h!m. He m()st l!kely st!ll !s.
Planet: Land of Duality and Mushrooms
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Refers to himself as 'we' and 'us'. Replaces i's with !'s and replaces o's with '()'s.
Example: sS: We suspect that Kald()r Dra!g() was h!gh on narc()t!cs when we f!rst met h!m. He m()st l!kely st!ll !s.
Horus Lupercal
- one big almost-crab claw
- beat the shit out of emps
- didn't choose the scrub life
Pesterchum handle: atmosphereSlayer
Planet: Land of Copper and Steam
Planet surface: Glowing with its molten core laying just a mile underneath the crust, massive spires of copper jut out of the landscape, with some leaning towards each other. Many lean with a curve to them, and these provide something similar to shelter for the planet's rivers of molten brass. On the planet's south pole is Horus's home on the planet, which is a towering structure of steel and glass surrounded by a moat of molten brass ten miles wide. Most of the water on the planet is a gaseous steam that gets so hot around the equator that it will literally set you on fire.
Planet theme:
Typing style: Z̵̗͖ͬa̾ͣl͇̤̖̍̓͑͠g̯̠̔ͥ͜ọ̺̖͎̆̓̿͠ḟ̒ͪ̾i̩̭̟͝ȩ͈͙͍̯͍̱ͩ͌͒š̼̱̜̝̰̘̈̚ text that he uses emphasis on.
Example: aS: We have no room for i̵͈̱̗͔͖̙̽̽̎͊̌́̇͋̀̊d̷̢͙̙̰̞̟̩̊̈̏͗́͂͛̽͘͜͢ͅl̵̨̠͔̺̦͖̇̑͐̈͗̐e̢̜̼̼̹̹̳̗̒̓͑̽͞͠͝ b̢̮̙̳̝̮̙̒̋͋̋̅͊̕͡ȁ̴̢̧̝̞̯̐̂͗͋́͟͝͡ͅn̴̢̞̟̞̹̼̭̯̳͋̀͊́̎̓͢t̵̹͙͚̜̻̊̆͑̀̃̿̎ȩ̨͙̣̰̦͓͋̿̍̆̕ŕ͓̣̫̫̣͌̔͂̈͘͡, Sanguinius. Either you and I cooperate or the Reckoning destroys everything.
Planet: Land of Copper and Steam
Planet surface: Glowing with its molten core laying just a mile underneath the crust, massive spires of copper jut out of the landscape, with some leaning towards each other. Many lean with a curve to them, and these provide something similar to shelter for the planet's rivers of molten brass. On the planet's south pole is Horus's home on the planet, which is a towering structure of steel and glass surrounded by a moat of molten brass ten miles wide. Most of the water on the planet is a gaseous steam that gets so hot around the equator that it will literally set you on fire.
Planet theme:
Typing style: Z̵̗͖ͬa̾ͣl͇̤̖̍̓͑͠g̯̠̔ͥ͜ọ̺̖͎̆̓̿͠ḟ̒ͪ̾i̩̭̟͝ȩ͈͙͍̯͍̱ͩ͌͒š̼̱̜̝̰̘̈̚ text that he uses emphasis on.
Example: aS: We have no room for i̵͈̱̗͔͖̙̽̽̎͊̌́̇͋̀̊d̷̢͙̙̰̞̟̩̊̈̏͗́͂͛̽͘͜͢ͅl̵̨̠͔̺̦͖̇̑͐̈͗̐e̢̜̼̼̹̹̳̗̒̓͑̽͞͠͝ b̢̮̙̳̝̮̙̒̋͋̋̅͊̕͡ȁ̴̢̧̝̞̯̐̂͗͋́͟͝͡ͅn̴̢̞̟̞̹̼̭̯̳͋̀͊́̎̓͢t̵̹͙͚̜̻̊̆͑̀̃̿̎ȩ̨͙̣̰̦͓͋̿̍̆̕ŕ͓̣̫̫̣͌̔͂̈͘͡, Sanguinius. Either you and I cooperate or the Reckoning destroys everything.
Perturabo
- giant manchild
- constantly challenging others
- cries like a baby when he doesn't get what he wants
Pesterchum handle: painfulFortress
Planet: Land of Strongholds and Needles
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Uses excessive amounts of exclamation points.
Example: pF: We don't have time for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nobody's got time for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Planet: Land of Strongholds and Needles
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Uses excessive amounts of exclamation points.
Example: pF: We don't have time for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nobody's got time for this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lorgar
- massive victim complex
- unsettling mannerisms
- used to be a choir boy
Pesterchum handle: verboseChoir
Planet: Land of Clay and Prisms
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Uses vowels five to ten times.
Example: vC: Leeeeeeet theeeeem diiiiiiieeeeeeee aaaaand beeeeeee fooooooreeeeeeeeeeveeeeeeer fooooooorgooooooooootteeeeeeeeen.
Planet: Land of Clay and Prisms
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Uses vowels five to ten times.
Example: vC: Leeeeeeet theeeeem diiiiiiieeeeeeee aaaaand beeeeeee fooooooreeeeeeeeeeveeeeeeer fooooooorgooooooooootteeeeeeeeen.
Konrad Curze
- almost a vampire
- really, really pale
- do not touch
Pesterchum handle: twilightMarauder
Planet: Land of Caves and Glowworms
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet themes
Surface:
Subterranean:
Typing style: Replaces his o's and lowercase a's with 0s.
Example: tM: D0d, y0u kn0w I h0te 0nything th0t h0s t0 d0 with the sun. I'm n0t g0ing t0 the be0ch.
Planet: Land of Caves and Glowworms
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet themes
Surface:
Subterranean:
Typing style: Replaces his o's and lowercase a's with 0s.
Example: tM: D0d, y0u kn0w I h0te 0nything th0t h0s t0 d0 with the sun. I'm n0t g0ing t0 the be0ch.
Magnus the Red
- accidentally tore the galaxy a new asshole trying to warn emps about horus
- hair looks like it's constantly being blown around
- massive bookworm
Pesterchum handle: pageGarden
Planet: Land of Trees and Libraries
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Planet: Land of Trees and Libraries
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Capitalizes the first and last letter of every word.
Example: pG: ChaoS Doesn'T EnD, DorN. GeT YouR HeaD OuT OF ThE GutteR.
- smelled like shit from day 1
- probably Nurgle's favorite
- whats a shower
Pesterchum handle: latrineBombardier
Planet: Land of Insects and Rot
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Planet: Land of Insects and Rot
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Replaces all his o's with 💩s.
Example: lB: Hey, d💩n't blame me f💩r turning t💩 Cha💩s. I d💩n't even like magic.
Angron
- grew up a slave
- has nails in his face
- FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Pesterchum handle: bloodyVeteran
Planet: Land of Fire and Battlefields
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: All caps. No punctuation. Frequently misspells words. Frequently uses expletives.
Example: bV: I AMN OT FUCKING SAYIN GANYTHI NG I AM SCREEMINGG
Planet: Land of Fire and Battlefields
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: All caps. No punctuation. Frequently misspells words. Frequently uses expletives.
Example: bV: I AMN OT FUCKING SAYIN GANYTHI NG I AM SCREEMINGG
Fulgrim
- on a mission to have more fabulous hair than emps
- doesn't realize his skin is purple
- sss i snek
Pesterchum handle: serpentineModel
Planet: Land of Illusion and Pipes
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Puts an emoticon at the end of his statements. They vary depending on his mood.
Example: sM: You guys ready to take back that scepter? (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
EXTRAS
The Emperor of Mankind
Fyodor Karamazov
Planet: Land of Illusion and Pipes
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Puts an emoticon at the end of his statements. They vary depending on his mood.
Example: sM: You guys ready to take back that scepter? (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง
EXTRAS
The Emperor of Mankind
- leader of the imperium
- has to sit on a couch every so often to keep himself from exploding
- said he didn't want to be worshiped as a god, but is worshiped as a god anyway.
Pesterchum handle: atheistMessiah
Planet: Land of Cities and Light
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Perfect grammar, punctuation, and syntax. Replaces certain letters with religious things. ( C = ☪, T = ☨, O = ☸, M = ☫, A = 🕍, W = 🕎 )
Example: aM: If 🕍ny☸ne is lis☨ening in right n☸🕎, I s☸r☨ ☸f h☸pe they feel 🕍🕎ful right 🕍b☸u☨ n☸🕎.
Planet: Land of Cities and Light
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Perfect grammar, punctuation, and syntax. Replaces certain letters with religious things. ( C = ☪, T = ☨, O = ☸, M = ☫, A = 🕍, W = 🕎 )
Example: aM: If 🕍ny☸ne is lis☨ening in right n☸🕎, I s☸r☨ ☸f h☸pe they feel 🕍🕎ful right 🕍b☸u☨ n☸🕎.
Fyodor Karamazov
- sits on his throne 24/7
- no such thing as innocence in his court
- absolutely hated by the rest of the ordo hereticus
Pesterchum handle: hereticalSolemniser
Planet: Land of Holy Seals and Slate
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Replaces all of his t's with †'s. Italicizes words or whole sentences for emphasis.
Example: hS: †here is no such †hing as innocence in my cour†.
Saint Celestine
Planet: Land of Holy Seals and Slate
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Replaces all of his t's with †'s. Italicizes words or whole sentences for emphasis.
Example: hS: †here is no such †hing as innocence in my cour†.
Saint Celestine
- imperial equivalent of a daemon prince
- can revive the dead
- inspirational AF
Pesterchum handle: imperialFlight
Planet: Land of Flowers and Jungles
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Random capitalization.
Example: iF: My empEroR, I do not belieVe that wE shOUld take on The Condense by OUrselvEs.
Fabius Bile
Planet: Land of Flowers and Jungles
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Random capitalization.
Example: iF: My empEroR, I do not belieVe that wE shOUld take on The Condense by OUrselvEs.
Fabius Bile
- called the Clone Lord for a reason unrelated to star wars
- the maddest scientist to ever mad scientist
- can and will experiment on you
Pesterchum handle: primogenitorAlchemist
Planet: Land of Laboratories and Chemicals
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Replaces all of his uppercase T's with ☤s.
Example: pA: I swear, if ☤ha☤ bi☤ch Lucius calls me Bob one more ☤ime, I will knock him ☤he FUCK ou☤.
Cato Sicarius
Planet: Land of Laboratories and Chemicals
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Replaces all of his uppercase T's with ☤s.
Example: pA: I swear, if ☤ha☤ bi☤ch Lucius calls me Bob one more ☤ime, I will knock him ☤he FUCK ou☤.
Cato Sicarius
- unstoppable with a plasma pistol
- nicest mane of all the ultramarines
- absolutely loathes his TTS counterpart
Pesterchum handle: kingSlayer
Planet: Land of Oceans and Zephyr
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Addresses himself as 'I, Cato Sicarius'. Replaces all his lowercase n's with Ωs.
Example: kS: I, Cato Sicarius, do Ωot believe that we should be talkiΩg about Chaos at the moment. There are more pressiΩg matters.
Ecclesiarch Decius XXIII
Planet: Land of Oceans and Zephyr
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Addresses himself as 'I, Cato Sicarius'. Replaces all his lowercase n's with Ωs.
Example: kS: I, Cato Sicarius, do Ωot believe that we should be talkiΩg about Chaos at the moment. There are more pressiΩg matters.
Ecclesiarch Decius XXIII
- one of the best high lords to ever grace terra
- ALL HAIL THE MAN-EMPEROR OF MANKIND
- secretly indulges in street art
Pesterchum handle: worshipCrusader
Planet: Land of Candles and Graffiti
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Puts tiny numbers in front of his statements, like passages from the Bible.
Example: wC: ²If only signing a decree was as easy as snapping your fingers.
Belisarius Cawl
Planet: Land of Candles and Graffiti
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Puts tiny numbers in front of his statements, like passages from the Bible.
Example: wC: ²If only signing a decree was as easy as snapping your fingers.
Belisarius Cawl
- so pumped full of cybernetic implants that he's barely human
- one of the tech priests that helped emps make the black carapace
- has a truly unmatched horde of knowledge compiled over the millennia
Pesterchum handle: fossilizedCyborg
Planet: Land of Cables and Machines
Planet surface: Similar to the Land of Heat and Clockwork, Belisarius's planet is host to a scratch construct, a 'panic button' of sorts that is used to hard reset the universe through invoking a scratch when the need arises. Huge cables connect to everything on this planet, and they seem to be the only things keeping the planet from tearing itself apart, as huge cracks permeate the planet's surface. All these cables stem from the planet's massive scratch construct, which resembles a cross between a satellite dish and a radio antenna. Billions upon trillions of machines resembling servo-skulls and servitors eternally perform maintenance of these massive cables. Belisarius's home on the planet is a towering palace of plasteel that takes up about as much surface area on the planet as the Japanese Archipelago.
Planet theme:
Typing style: Surrounds words that he uses emphasis on with 0s.
Example: fC: Cato, it is ironic that you would bring up the subject of 00Chaos00 now when the destruction of Skaia is imminent. The Black King must be stopped.
Sly Marbo
Adrastia
Planet: Land of Cables and Machines
Planet surface: Similar to the Land of Heat and Clockwork, Belisarius's planet is host to a scratch construct, a 'panic button' of sorts that is used to hard reset the universe through invoking a scratch when the need arises. Huge cables connect to everything on this planet, and they seem to be the only things keeping the planet from tearing itself apart, as huge cracks permeate the planet's surface. All these cables stem from the planet's massive scratch construct, which resembles a cross between a satellite dish and a radio antenna. Billions upon trillions of machines resembling servo-skulls and servitors eternally perform maintenance of these massive cables. Belisarius's home on the planet is a towering palace of plasteel that takes up about as much surface area on the planet as the Japanese Archipelago.
Planet theme:
Typing style: Surrounds words that he uses emphasis on with 0s.
Example: fC: Cato, it is ironic that you would bring up the subject of 00Chaos00 now when the destruction of Skaia is imminent. The Black King must be stopped.
Sly Marbo
- mostly a lone wolf
- be grateful that he's on your side
- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Pesterchum handle: ripoffRambo
Planet: Land of Jungles and Ammunition
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Types his a's three times.
Example: rR: I've been aaa Caaataaachaaan Jungle Fighter long enough to know thaaat when you're pushed, killing is aaas eaaasy aaas breaaathing.
Planet: Land of Jungles and Ammunition
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Types his a's three times.
Example: rR: I've been aaa Caaataaachaaan Jungle Fighter long enough to know thaaat when you're pushed, killing is aaas eaaasy aaas breaaathing.
Adrastia
- easily ranks in the top 10 of the 41st millennium's "Best hats" list
- has her own personal tank, but barely uses it
- fresh from the death sentence...?
Pesterchum handle: witchAnathema
Planet: Land of Ash and Rust
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Uses prison slang. A lot.
Jena Orechiel
Planet: Land of Ash and Rust
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Uses prison slang. A lot.
Jena Orechiel
- a loving mother of two
- really chill once you get to know her
- could care less about the Imperium's laws regarding the use of alien technology
Pesterchum handle: motherlyInquisition
Planet: Land of Plushies and Mannequins
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Tends to rhyme in longer sentences.
Canoness Veridyan
Katarinya Greyfax
Planet: Land of Plushies and Mannequins
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Tends to rhyme in longer sentences.
Canoness Veridyan
- looks and sounds uncannily like lady gaga
- cold, calculating machiavellian
- damn fine legs
Pesterchum handle: blaseGunfire
Planet: Land of Lanterns and Pools
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Sometimes uses Latin to replace certain words.
Planet: Land of Lanterns and Pools
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Sometimes uses Latin to replace certain words.
Katarinya Greyfax
- desperate for a vacation
- one of the most infamous members of the inquisition
- has a huge crush on Saint Celestine but refuses to admit it
Pesterchum handle: unseenHeretic
Planet: Land of Highways and Flames
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Perfect punctuation, syntax, grammar, and capitalization. All that goes out the window when she gets mad. If angry, she starts her sentences with 'mateisweartofuckin'.
Macha
Planet: Land of Highways and Flames
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Perfect punctuation, syntax, grammar, and capitalization. All that goes out the window when she gets mad. If angry, she starts her sentences with 'mateisweartofuckin'.
Macha
- 4000+ year-old virgin
- sealed a demon inside a rock
- do not mention her virginity around her
Pesterchum handle: dataPsyker
Planet: Land of Polygons and Prophecies
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Only uses punctuation for emphasis. Refers to people that she doesn't like as Mon-keigh.
Imotekh the Stormlord
Typhus
Planet: Land of Polygons and Prophecies
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Only uses punctuation for emphasis. Refers to people that she doesn't like as Mon-keigh.
Imotekh the Stormlord
- too prideful for his own good
- the greatest general of the sautekh dynasty
- devotes his time and effort into getting shit done
Pesterchum handle: fabricatorGeneral
Planet: Land of Tombs and Neon Signs
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Replaces his o's with 0s and his lowercase l's and i's with 1s.
Ahzek Ahriman
Planet: Land of Tombs and Neon Signs
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Replaces his o's with 0s and his lowercase l's and i's with 1s.
Ahzek Ahriman
- tzeentch loves to mess with him
- one of the mightiest psykers in the galaxy
- magnus kicked him out of the thousand sons
Pesterchum handle: telekineticArchitect
Planet: Land of Lightning and Sorcery
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: No punctuation. Puts parenthesis around words that he uses emphasis on.
Planet: Land of Lightning and Sorcery
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: No punctuation. Puts parenthesis around words that he uses emphasis on.
Typhus
- self-conscious about his high status as a chaos lord of nurgle
- the most feared of all chaos lords
- secretly loves nature
Pesterchum handle: diseaseHerald
Planet: Land of Swamps and Stench
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Puts ellipsis in front of and after his statements. No other punctuation. No capitalization.
Kharn
Commander O'Shaserra
Planet: Land of Swamps and Stench
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Puts ellipsis in front of and after his statements. No other punctuation. No capitalization.
Kharn
- khorne's greatest mortal champion
- actually a very nice guy
- skulls for days
Pesterchum handle: muscleCartilage
Planet: Land of Skeletons and Tea
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet themes
Skeleton half:
Tea half:
Typing style: All caps. No punctuation. Puts words that he uses emphasis on in lowercase. Replaces all of his o's with 💀s.
Lucius
Planet: Land of Skeletons and Tea
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet themes
Skeleton half:
Tea half:
Typing style: All caps. No punctuation. Puts words that he uses emphasis on in lowercase. Replaces all of his o's with 💀s.
Lucius
- sick bastard
- sounds like mickey mouse
- has tongues coming out of his armor
Pesterchum handle: tongueLord
Planet: Land of Tentacles and Debauchery
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Replaces all of his spaces and periods with Lenny faces.
Asdrubael Vect
Typing style: Uses commas instead of periods and vice-versa. No capitalization. Types words that he uses emphasis on in Eldar.
Lelith Hesperax
The Swarmlord
Planet: Land of Tentacles and Debauchery
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Replaces all of his spaces and periods with Lenny faces.
Asdrubael Vect
- doesn't take warnings seriously
- no patience for superstition
- ruler of a city of sadists
Pesterchum handle: ancientDarkness
Planet: Land of Chains and Thorns
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Planet: Land of Chains and Thorns
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Uses commas instead of periods and vice-versa. No capitalization. Types words that he uses emphasis on in Eldar.
Lelith Hesperax
- most renown succubus in commoragh
- has a penchant for shoving things up her ass
- survived the arena for millenia
Pesterchum handle: witchChampion
Planet: Land of Runes and Hurricanes
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Tends to replace some of her capital letters with Japanese kanji that resemble the original letter.
Planet: Land of Runes and Hurricanes
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Tends to replace some of her capital letters with Japanese kanji that resemble the original letter.
The Swarmlord
- one of the few tyranids with a personality
- doesn't feel comfortable disconnected from the hive
- birds are scary
Pesterchum handle: queenMangetout
Planet: Land of Chitin and Honeycombs
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: All caps. No punctuation. Replaces all of his o's with two colons. Repeats his words twice.
Planet: Land of Chitin and Honeycombs
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: All caps. No punctuation. Replaces all of his o's with two colons. Repeats his words twice.
Commander O'Shaserra
- better known as shadowsun
- cold-hearted and manipulative
- one of the best commanders in the tau empire
Pesterchum handle: kauyonGenius
Planet: Land of Black Sand and Seaside Villages
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Types in all caps for emphasis. Poor grammar. Uses fish puns whenever she can.
Planet: Land of Black Sand and Seaside Villages
Planet surface: W.I.P
Planet theme:
Typing style: Types in all caps for emphasis. Poor grammar. Uses fish puns whenever she can.
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Sick islamophobic bastards.
1 min read
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Spread this shit like butter on toast.
Spread this shit like butter on toast.
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le tag
2 min read
Rules
You must spell out your username and list a song beginning w/ the letter, then tag as many people as there are letters.
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My birthday is tomorrow.
1 min read
I will prepare myself for cake day.
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